This memoir-in-essays chronicles one dad’s journey to finding answers to his own parenting questions and dilemmas, through the lens of his son, the wild and lovable Raffi. Gessen covers some generally applicable concerns, such as disagreements between parents and the challenges of finding a school that reflects the family’s values, as well as some that are more niche, such as bilingual parenting.
From a therapeutic perspective, some of Gessen’s most poignant writing is on the topic of his passion, sports, which he hopes to pass on to Raffi. He encounters difficulty, including resistance and lack of focus from his son, as he attempts to create shared moments. After a long commute from Brooklyn to Queens for hockey practice, Raffi gets down and licks the ice–a humorous scene, and one that illustrates the potential pain points of passing our passions down our children. We may want to share, but it’s hard to know when–or if–they’re ready to receive.
For parents who love to read, this book is a goldmine of reading recommendations, both parenting books and picture books to read at bedtime. Gessen’s essay on parenting books is a legitimate service to readers. He covers parenting literature of the past and present, breaks down major movements and theories re: topics such as sleep training and discipline, and identifies overall patterns that have emerged over the history of parenting advice. It is a great starting point for someone who wants to learn more but doesn’t know where to start. The description of each book is a great way to identify what books and approaches speak to you.
The chapter on bedtime reading and picture books is similarly rich, both in terms of the books themselves, which Gessen is passionate about, and the histories of their authors, which are often a depressing contrast to the joy their stories bring to families. Gessen explicates the pleasures of reading books like A Bargain For Frances and Bread and Jam for Frances, simple yet clever stories about a little badger and the lessons she learns. He illustrates the pleasure that comes from reading, and reading to children, and the depth that sharing stories can add to relationships.
